Not Ours to Have
by Dokuhan
Summary: He totally understood that a lot of people would be pretty nasty about their relationship. It may have been the 21st century, but there were a lot of people in Japan that still thought two guys bumping uglies was a big no-no.


In the long run, Heiji had to wonder if they had made a big mistake. Maybe they had just been a pair of dumb kids (well, not really, but shut up) jumping into something they didn't really understand.

No…Heiji knew fucking good and well what they were getting into, Kudo was just too much of a dumbass to get it through his thick skull.

It had actually been a couple of years after high school, so they weren't _really _kids. You're not a kid at 24-years-old no matter what his parents said, especially with what they had been through for a while.

His breakup with Kazuha the first year of university had been messy, _really _messy, and he had never actually recovered from it he guessed. But again, not his fault. He had only _implied _that he maybe, kind of sort of, like boys as well as girls and she _completely _blew it out of the water and started bringing up all this other stuff and - it was just bad, okay? It kind of turned him off girls for a while, and since he didn't have any experience batting for the other team - it lead to the Dry Spell of Epic Proportions.

Kudo had had it pretty rough too. Ran had gotten a scholarship to some really great school in the States that she would have been stupid to refuse. Kudo could have easily gone with her, but had opted to stay behind for whatever reason.

Somehow Ran's scholarship lead to an acceptance at Harvard Law and an amazing job opportunity that kept her far away from Japan. (And maybe the boy she met in her psychology 101 class that she wound up leaving Kudo for had something to do with it.)

So they were both kind of lonely, okay? And they had a damn right to be.

"Who needs 'em…" Heiji muttered from his spot on the couch, his feet up on Kudo's coffee table amongst what had to be an entire case's worth of beer cans.

Oh yeah, they were drunk too - super drunk.

"You can say that again," Kudo barely slurred out as he rubbed his face, "They're _engaged_, she's only known him a couple of years! It's crazy!."

"At least she's still talking to you! I'm lucky if I even get a 'hey are you still alive' text from Kazuha. Asshole."

"I need water." And then Kudo did the dumbest thing and actually stood up. He swayed as the alcohol rushed through his body before losing his footing and began falling towards the table.

"Whoa! Watch it!" He grabbed his friends wrist and tried to pull him forward, back onto his feet. But of course, Heiji was pretty far gone as well and pulled too much, causing Kudo to fall on top of him instead.

They were close, like in each other's laps and limbs all tangled up close, and later on Heiji had to wonder if it was their mutual drunkenness that kept them there. He could feel his friend's breath against his earlobe and their bodies just felt really nice pressed together.

So yeah, of course he did the second dumbest thing after standing up when you're drunk - he put his hands on Kudo's cheeks and kissed him. And neither one of them wanted to stop.

The next morning…was kind of awkward for both of them. Heiji for having his first bisexual experience with his supposedly straight frenemy and Kudo for, well, pretty much the same reasons. They still decided it was worth a shot.

And that's where it all turned into a shit shower.

It wasn't the long distance thing that was a problem, or even their competitive natures. Those things could be worked around pretty easily if they worked at it. No, the real issue was what Heiji liked to call "The Elephant in the Closet Shaped Room". (Kudo called it a miscommunication. Kudo was fucking stupid.)

He totally understood that a lot of people would be pretty nasty about their relationship. It may have been the 21st century, but there were a lot of people in Japan that still thought two guys bumping uglies was a big no-no. But Heiji didn't give a crap about those kind of people, he would happily tell them what he thought about their attitude if it meant he could go out in public with his boyfriend.

Kudo, on the other hand, thought they should keep it a _secret_. He said it would be too complicated to explain to people why the greatest detectives in the East and West were suddenly dating, and that they would never get a moment of privacy because of it.

And that was fine in the "this thing is new and we need to test the waters first before getting other people involved" sense. He was cool with that. But after a year of not even being able to tell his parents what was going on, Heiji was just a _tiny _bit miffed.

"I can't take this anymore!"

Only a tiny bit.

Kudo glared, crossed his arms, "We don't have to get anybody else involved in this! It's our business!"

"It's not about getting anyone else involved, asshole!" Heiji yelled back, "It's just our parents! Or our friends! We don't have to tell the entire fucking world and I'm not asking you to parade me around like your ex-girlfriend - I just want us to be somewhat normal for once!"

"We're fine the way we are! We're fine-"

"Getting plastered on your stupid couch or having sex in my apartment. Wow, sorry that I want a little bit more out of this."

"I don't know what you want from me, Hattori."

"Do you want an _actual _relationship, or just this fuck buddies thing that's been going on?"

A beat passed, and then another. Kudo just stared at him with this unreadable expression and didn't say anything. And then he looked down at the floor.

Heiji felt his heart drop into his stomach. "Oh…okay. I get it." He wanted to say something, give Kudo a piece of his mind or make a snarky remark. He wanted to say a lot of things, but there was a lump forming in his throat and like hell was he going to get all worked up about some guy. He reached into his pocket and dug out the keys to Kudo's house before dropping them on the kitchen table. "I'm leaving, I can probably get an earlier plane ticket. Just…I dunno, mail back my key whenever."

"Hattori!"

He didn't say anything as he grabbed his duffle next to the door (wow, they had started fighting before he even had a chance to really bring his things in, harsh). He opened his mouth, closed it, and just shook his head as he made his way out the door.

Fuck it. Heiji didn't need anyone. He was plenty happy by himself.

* * *

Prompt fill for tumblr user tyrannohassleberry to the OPM "Tell Me"


End file.
